Long Awaited and Overdue

What a crazy and incredible journey I am on. First and foremost my apologies that it has been almost a month since I last updated. As I've said it's been a incredible journey thus far. (About the half way point through lecture phase of the school). One filled with immense amounts of joy, laughter, strength, challenges, new relationships, freedom, grace, faithfulness and a fair amount of tears.

Stephen and Tack. My brothers, co-leaders and heirs in this fantastic journey.

My last entry was written by one of my small group girls as I was in the middle of a crap medical situation, in a desperate cry for additional prayer and financial support. After three days in and out of hospital they agreed on a diagnosis of a kidney stone.  (Which had moved out of my kidney by the time of ultrasound-and passed 36 hours later) and a kidney infection which had spread into my right lung. (The same issue happened five years ago when I was first hospitalized with kidney stones). Doctors here in New Zealand believe it is because my right lung has a contact point with my right kidney which is tilted at an odd angle upward and they are actually touching each other, making it incredibly easy for infection to spread from one organ to the other. They say the touch point is not all that uncommon and does not require any type of correction at this point. Thank you everyone for the prayers and continued support through prayer and finances.Your emails and facebook messages were a huge encouragement as I rested and allowed the antibiotics to do their job.

Continued prayers and petition for finances. God has continued to open doors and provide and I stand in faith with Him for my financial support and well being. The word for this trip has been "faithful" I have never in my life understood God's faithfulness as I have on this trip. From the very beginning of the seats I had on the plane, to my staff team which are some of the most amazing men I have ever met, my indescribably beautiful, loving, teachable, honest girls that click insanely well and make being a small group leader really easy, to the guys on this school that display such amazing servant hood and chivalry, healing, promise after promise has been fulfilled through His name and His word. I have learned to trust in and lean on my Lord for daily sustenance and I know that as we come to the halfway point of this deal and have had major financial hurdles that I was not planning on come up, as outreach creeps up I know that the need for finances and supporters grows. I stand in humble faith that God will continue to meet the need. I will continue to walk in blessing and the ability to bless and support others. If financially supporting the vision and purpose of my heart to disciple young adults and specifically young woman into the freedom and grace God has set apart for His sons and daughters is something you feel convinced of please consider supporting this season in my life. I am incredibly confidant of the ability in God's hand to provide and am also confidant in the love and support I have standing behind me spiritually in this time.  I could not do this, which I am convinced is God's call on my life and the literal walking out of my dreams and goals of adulthood without you. Thank you for making this possible in my life. 

Two weeks ago our school headed down to Queenstown, New Zealand. This has been a tradition of the SDTS since before even my DTS in 2007. Years ago there was a YWAM base down in Queenstown (About 7 hours from where we live in Oxford) and the dream is to someday move the snowboard school back down there. Queenstown is a hub of snowboarding and snowboarding culture. It's within hours of some of the best snowboarding in the Southern Hemisphere and tourists from all over the world head to Queenstown this time of the year. It was amazing to see our students really step out of their comfort zone during our evangelism and ministry times.

Alyssa, Janie, Sarah, Kathryn, Sophie Joy and Me at Lake Takepo. 

Our speakers for those two weeks; Frank Naea and the infamous Mark Parker also traveled down to Queenstown as we attempted to reproduce a typical "school week" down there. Frank's lecture was about the "Nature and Character" of God which focused on new revelation in his life as the ultimate  character of God is as Father. This for obvious reasons was incredibly convicting, touching, and healing for me as a person and a daughter. Man, so much of Frank said was just game changing for me. He taught about the independant, orphan spirit. The idea that we can be good Christians, we can be missionaries, we can be doing all these things for the Kingdom and if we are not satisfied to sit in the arms of the Father as a child we are operating in an orphan spirit. Youch! Frank also I think brought a ton of enlightenment to our crew about the original intentions for the feminine and masculine spirit. That they are both God breathed, blessed and working and active within the church and within the Christian. I know a ton of our students and even our staff found great freedom, healing and redemption in the new revelation and crazy study in Genesis 3. (My second favorite chapter in the Bible). Mark Parker's "Lordship" lecture was very powerful for a lot of our students as once again we went through a very literal reenactment Thursday/Friday of what it took for the Israelites to enter into the Holy of Holies. You will always learn how much you love someone when you watch them come to the cross with all their hurts, pains and secrets and lay them at the cross to find freedom in Christ. I'm amazed at the ability to love, amazed at people's ability for humility, amazed at Jesus' power of redemption.

God worked in my heart in huge ways in Queenstown. Not always in quiet, gentle ways but often in those. I know I'm called into the mission field, fully committed to that. Fully aware of my call and what that will require of me and my loved ones. One of the things I've continued to selfishly hold onto though, is a desire to not do this alone. Granted there is no way you could ever be alone in the Kingdom so much of me has secretly held onto a desire to be married. To have a partner in this crazy adventure, someone that can love and support me in ways only a covenanted partner could. And in ways, even though I feel like I don't actively seek getting this need met in my head and my heart it's been a huge distraction. Living in the USA it's incredibly hard to be my age and be single, and I've allowed myself the fantasy and distraction in my mind because I have not acted on it in the physical. But for me personally the games I play in my head are always so much worse and I've spent years now fantasizing about my dream life instead of living my real one. God proved himself in so many ways in the last three weeks. He is enough for me. He is enough and I am sure of that. In Queenstown I realized and made an intentional decision to give up that fake, fantasy life solid and set on the fact that He is more than enough for me!

Blessed by a loving God and obedient men in my life.

Queenstown was also challenging physically for my girls. Our first Wednesday snowboarding (and my first day snowboarding after healing from kidney issues) we rode at Cordrona. It was a beautiful, blue bird day. Just one of those snowboard days that's the root of it all. Hitting rails and boxes I would not have tried earlier, riding with good music and great friends, down to hoodies by the end. I'd gone in to finish up my day and couldn't find one of my small group girls when I did my mental head count I find myself doing constantly. Later I saw her laughing and crying her way into the chalet with her arm in a sling and wrapped. Ski patrol had been pretty convinced she'd broken her arm so Steve and I loaded a van and headed down the mountain with Kathryn. Let me rep my little Crazy Pants for a minute; we're riding down a mountain bumping the whole way as she sits in the front holding her poor arm in one hand and reading her Bible in the other. My crazy little California girl was actually thanking God for a broken arm because it was giving her a great opportunity for healing. She was convinced when her arm was healed during the x-ray the entire hospital would know the healing power of Jesus. I literally have never met anyone with such an amazing attitude in the midst of horrible pain. What seemed painful at first would turn out to only be more painful as the night went on. Kathryn and I headed to the hospital where we found out unlike what she assumed this was not just a hairline fracture of her wrist. Her arm was sufficiently broken and had slipped out of place. They were going to have to reset it. What they explained to me as an easy and often done medical procedure turned into almost four hours of horrific physical pain for Kathryn and an immense opportunity in faith, courage and self control for Steve and I. Doctors were able to get an empty line in her right arm for an emergency IV but could find no usable veins in her left (broken) arm for any type of anesthesia. After almost five tries they finally stopped because of the excruciating pain she was in the amount of movement to her broken arm it was taking in attempts to find one. Finally they decided to attempt a hemotoma block because they believed she would not regain full function of her arm and hand if they did not reset it. As a leader, big sister and someone who desperately loves this girl this was one of the hardest things I've ever been through. It is so easy to say you would give an arm for someone, so easy to say that you would die for someone; man it's way harder to have to hold them down as they go through pain. I've always talked big about how much I love people, how much I'd be willing to sacrifice for people, I know now that staying is harder. Having to walk through pain with someone without the ability to change, control or fix it is harder. I sit here writing this as she's getting ready for bed; dancing around with her third cast. (At this point we've had it changed once a week because of swelling and slipping and yes she's gotten a new color every time!) After four hours of what I'm sure felt like hell she's still the same girl. Her attitude is still one of the most joyful I've ever met, she still believes she is and is being healed. We had to reschedule her follow up appointment because she refused to miss any of Frank's lectures. Not being able to snowboard has not kept her from the mountain once, every time we've taken a crew up she's been a part of it. Caring for everyone, making everyone laugh, taking pictures, encouraging, loving and witnessesing. 

Kathryn with cast number two. She HATES that sling!

Three days later Steve, Tack and I had taken a small crew back up to Remarkables for snowboarding on Saturday. This was way different from Cardies on Wednesday. Very little snow, lots of ice and NO visibility. Goggles, sunglasses, bare eyes it was ridiculous trying to see anything. Flat white everywhere. It was just an off day. We didn't have our whole school, it had been an optional day riding and we'd run into some problems with our lift passes. Four of us had gotten only half day passes so we'd spent the first three hours up in the lodge with Kathryn having coffee, reading and laughing. I'd quit early and had fallen asleep in the lodge when I got another heart dropping reality check; Sophie had taken a bad fall off a jump and was coming down in the sled with ski patrol.  I told my Mom today that part of me believes I'm ready to be a Mama now after I jumped up ready to take on the world for my next little one with an "owie." When they finally got Sophie down the mountain and near ski patrol where I was waiting I knew this was going to be different, way different from Kathryn's. Kathryn is my screamer whereas Sophie is my silent one. She spoke a little bit when she saw me and I glimpsed her arm momentarily while they were taking her out of the sled; Her arm was bent at such a grotesque angle that only one thing went through my mind; surgery. Hours later it would turn out I was right. At the mountain it was realized Sophie was very near to a complete compound fracture and so they attempted a hemotoma block with her as well in attempts to move the broken bone away from the skin in her arm and save her from risk of major infection if the bone were to poke all the way through. A while later her and I were in the back of an ambulance headed down to Queenstown. As soon as we got x-rays in Queenstown they said almost immediately we needed to head down to Invercargill (The Southern most city in the world!) for surgery. (She got antibiotics and tetanus shots there as sometime between the original fall and when we saw it again hours later the bone had managed to slip through the skin in her arm.)This time they would not allow me to ride the two and a half hours south so Steve headed back to camp to get a car and the most random weekend bags ever! Many hours later we were sitting with Sophie in the ER when we found out more details of what had happened. Basically what we were told was she had turned her arm into dust, we'd find out more details the next day when talking to her surgeon. In the end there were three pieces of bone left to work with in her arm and about a hundred that had to be removed. Surgeons and medical staff continued to tell us in fancy words this was one of the worst x-rays they'd seen. The next morning she was transferred to the Children's Ward where they had an open bed and we were allowed to stay with her. (MAJOR BLESSING!) Sunday afternoon she was finally taken into surgery where they ended up bone grafting from her hip and putting in several plates and screws. Whereas staying by Kathryn's side had been incredibly difficult having to let go of the side of her hospital bed as they took Soph into surgery was by far the most difficult part of walking this road with her, letting go and waiting for hours to see her again. I could not have ever guessed a little over a month ago meeting her for the first time thinking I'd ever have to let someone else wheel her away and I hold my breath for four hours waiting to get her back. I was texting Sophie's parent's through out and I said I can't imagine it feeling any different had they wheeled away one of my biological sisters, there is so much going through your head in that moment. I am so thankful for Stephen. For his ability not only to care for precious Sophie but also to play the man to both of us, he would send me texts during the night as I stood by her bed, "Mandi she's sleeping, sit down and go to sleep." By the time we got to Invercargill we'd had experience relying on each other through trauma with Kathryn, understood the way the other functions in crisis. At twenty I am blown away by his maturity, respect for women, gentleness, ability, self control and empathy. We spent hours praying, singing worship and reading Scripture over Sophie as she waiting for surgery and even longer waiting for her to start to wake up and recover from the ordeal. It took days for her little body to be able to bounce back from surgery and Doctors said we should be satisfied with 70-80% recovery of the original use of her arm and hand but we know we serve a God who created bones from nothing, so a bone that's been shattered to dust is nothing for him. I'm in awe of the grace and poise Soph's displayed through this ordeal. My fiercely independent, sparky little warrior does not find it easy to ask for or accept help. This has rendered her previous mode of self protection all but useless as she'd been forced especially those first few days to rely on me in ways that she had not relied on a person since childhood; and me a woman she'd met only months earlier. I've seen her learn huge lessons about God's power as provider and protector as she'd been forced to be small. Forced to be little in His arms, trusting Him and the people He's put in her life.

We couldn't decide whether to laugh or cry at how teeny she looked; like Snow White.

I'm reverently aware of what a weighty task it is that God has given me here. The journey that our students are on is life changing. I know my life is completely different than it would have been had I never come here five years ago. I know how much is on the table here and I am SO SO thankful that my God is big. I could never walk this road without His unending, gentle strength. I said earlier that He is faithful. In every way I am seeing that lived out here.

Speaking of life change, another big one is official now; OUTREACH. This year we are sending two teams out. Stephen will be taking a team to Costa Rica and Tack and I will be leading the snowboard outreach back into Queenstown for half our time and then onto Malaysia.

First official photo of team Queenstown/Malaysia after teams were announced!
Alyssa, Andrew, Tack, Tore, Janie, Me, Sophie, Jeromy and Jeff.

Sorry for such a HUGE update but I know there is a lot that happened in the last month. I commit to updating more often, at least for the next month while I have (mostly) reliable internet. If you feel led to support me through prayer shoot me off an email or facebook message and if financially hit the donate button up top. Care packages are always appreciated as well. (Wink Wink).