This Is Ten Years

Addison Road "Sticking With You."

Come on, it's me you're talking to
there's something going on inside of you
don't have to say it, but I wish you would
cause it would be much easier

You always hide behind yourself
you walk a lonely road with no one's help
I hate to break the news
you're headed for a fall

And if I have to jump
then I'll jump
and I won't look down
you can cry, you can fight,
we can scream and shout
I'll push and pull
until your walls come down
and you understand

I'm gonna be around
I'm sticking with you
I'm sticking with you

Even if you try and shut me out
I'm staying here 'cause thats what love's about
I might let you down, but I won't let you go

So lean into me, I want to know
Everything about the fear you hold inside
'cause you and I are better than just one so

If I have to jump
then I'll jump
and I wont look down
you can cry, you can fight, we can scream and shout
I'll push and pull
until your walls come down
and you understand I'm gonna be around
I'm sticking with...

If that's what it means to love you
If that's what it means to have your back
If that what it takes to show you
Then I'm in, I'm in

If I have to jump
then I'll jump
and I wont look down
you can cry, you can fight, we can scream and shout
I'll push and pull
until your walls come down
and you understand I'm gonna be around

And if I have to jump
then I'll jump
and I wont look down
you can cry, you can fight, we can scream and shout
I'll push and pull
until your walls come down
and you understand I'm gonna be around
I'm sticking with you
I'm sticking with you
I'm sticking with you

Gosh, blogging. Sometimes I wonder why I can never quite give it up. Maybe this one just holds my N-Zed memories, but I'm guessing it's really because sometimes I quite like to journal and in my world it's a lot easier to type than it is to write with a pen and paper. (I do enough of that trying to keep up with two full time undergrad loads...what a joke).

Today was my first day back full time since my bout with H1N1. I went to both shifts at work, took my Bio Lab mid-term, got my scheduled Northwestern school work load done, met with my hiking teacher, had an interesting, semi dis-heartening email conversation with a friend and went back to my second shift at work this afternoon.

There was an event I was supposed to be a part of this evening. I guess I put a lot more stock into it then I should have. I was excited. I have not been around people much since being sick and after my email conversation with previously mentioned friend I just wanted to be outside myself for a while.

Well the event fell through. So I came home, slammed in the ear buds and started up work on a fiction thing I've been batting around for the last couple years in different mediums. I frustrated myself to the point of tears and spent the next two and a half hours working on a poem!.... I know right???

I'm not ready to post it because I realize it was a lot more of a reality than I thought but I'm some how still a little glad I wrote it. Someone has seen it. Someone has read it even...or will within the next couple days and that's all it needed to be. A part of my past, a part of my heart, my present, my future, on screen for myself, for someone else, for tonight.

And now it's done.

My stomach hurts.