A week

"I'm brave enough for this thing right?" -Me.
"Who cares! Do it scared."

Says a dear friend last night, and that's where I stand. This afternoon I booked my ticket back to New Zealand. I will leave Minnesota next Monday evening and head to Colorado for 3 days, then off to Christchurch.

But let's back up a few days. This weekend we celebrated Mom's 50th birthday at dinner with family. Mom's not actually 50 until February 9th but I'll be in New Zealand by than and Abbi will also be out of state. After dinner Sis and Dan went out with friends so the Auntie's got Faith for the night. My niece Faith is the polar opposite from my Izze girl. While Izze is famous for her quiet, polite, reserved, cuddly personality. My Faith is WILD. She's not yet nine months old but she is our wild child. She's been crawling for months, pulls herself up on everything and attempts to walk, she's loud, she's fast, she loves being rough and wrestling and does not, DOES NOT like to cuddle. Until I found out....very late at night. My little spark plug finally settled down and cuddled up around eleven and spent a few hours sleeping on my chest. Such a special moment, made incredibly precious by the knowledge that this is most likely one of the only time I will have a moment like this with her.

The next day my Mom had planned a going away party for me. About an hour before people were set to arrive the snow started pounding so we didn't get a huge turn out but plenty of people thought it was a fitting farewell, that my home town would be buried under a four inch blanket of the white stuff. Shortly before the party started I had an incredibly encouraging conversation with a supporter from Colorado who has some awesome inside information into what my life will look like in the next year. His obedience in supporting me as a missionary and becoming a powerful member of the team that has my back will be a pillar for me in the next year. There was a huge outpouring of support both emotional, spiritual and financial. So THANK YOU! Thank you so much for coming, for praying, for giving. I watched today as my Mom bit back tears explaining some of the miracles that she got to witness this weekend. She was blown away by the amount of support I have and continues to pour out. It was huge for me to be able to hear my Mom talk about the confirmation God placed in her heart this weekend, that I am indeed where I'm supposed to be going, that I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing, that she's confidant sending her baby "off to war" because of the love and support she witnessed poured out to me. So again, thank you so much for each and every piece of support and love that is continuing to pour out.

So next Monday I will be on my way. Tonight my Mom, sister, niece and I went shopping for girly bath bombs and lotions, got a fancy Mexican dinner and dessert at the bread store. The next week will include much of the same. Spending my last precious days making memories with my baby girls and praying, chatting and saying goodbye to dear family and friends.

I'm excited to head back, but this week will be bittersweet. I am so excited for God's plan for the next year of my life, excited to see where our relationship goes, excited for experiencing new facets of His heart and His face. I'm excited to be back in a country I love so much. Be back in my quiet little country zone, meeting new people, making new memories. But obviously I'm heavy hearted to  leave my family and my friends, being in the same time zone, my normal surroundings.

So my prayer requests this week are for peace and protection as I begin to pack and travel back towards New Zealand. Peace and time to make awesome memories with my family and friends as I  prepare to leave. Continued financial blessing and support from those that have joined up in this journey. That I would continue to find peace and confirmation and confidence as I boldly walk forward in what I believe is God's plan for me.

The joy of fasting...

So I suppose the jury is still out as to whether we're "supposed" to talk about it publicly or not but for the sake of being honest let's just go there. Let's talk about fasting...

I've always known what fasting is. The church we grew up in was big on fasting so I've always been aware of what it was, it's place in a Christian's life and just assumed it would always be a part of mine. As I grew up it (along with many other Spiritual disciplines) got lost in youth events and compromise. Cause let's be honest, fasting a lot of "things" is a cop out, for all that's worth I can say I've been fasting sex the last 28 years. I think fasting is mostly supposed to be food. I'm yet to find a place in Scripture where God asks someone to "fast" from facebook. Most of my adult life has been spent in some fashion within IHOP and YWAM, both of whom are big on fasting. I've gone a day here with a friend, a day there with the team on outreach, I rang in one year with an extended fast but I've always ended up either cheating, giving up or getting caught up in the legalism of it all, barely surviving the day and most of the time out of stubbornness. As I've been preparing for this next year, I was praying about setting goals for each month. One of those goals that I feel God is calling me to is to do an extended fast at the end of this year for me, ending it on my birthday. That'll be a big one for me. It's not something I've done before and before today I don't know that my heart would have been tender enough for me.

Well today one of my best friends had surgery. (Super minor compared to surgery last year...but surgery none the less for the over-protective-big-sister heart of mine). So I decided today I would give fasting another shot, spend the day in prayer and fasting for her. For precision for the doctors hands, a quick recovery, no pain, etc. I knew I could go without food for her. I was under no false assumptions that because I was going without food that would someone be magic power or karma or anything weird. I just knew being without food for a day would be a little miserable for me, my stomach and saliva would remind me on multiple times that something was different today. There was something to be done today, a battle to be fought. And honestly? It was SO much easier. It was so easy for me to contend for the Spirit's intervention when it came to someone that my heart was invested in, when it was someone I dearly loved feeling those hunger pangs was easy to exchange for praying for her.

And then Mom made my favorite dinner while I was sleeping, I woke up tired, hungry and cranky. Why am I still doing this? And then I remembered, and I got up and I prayed for her some more. And I tried thinking about fasting in that way. I love Jesus more than I love my friend. Way more. But it's different when we've interacted with flesh and blood isn't it? It's so easy for me to contend for a pain free day for her but when it's time to fast and pray just because it's a command? It's harder. And so I guess that's how I'll start this year, I'll fast and pray for the things I love. It's a learning and a growing process. I'm training my heart to be in a posture of obedience starting with...fasting.

Next Steps...Big ones...

Dear friends and family,

I hope this letter finds everyone safe, happy and healthy in the first part of a new year. I had the amazing oppurtunity of ringing in the New Year in Kansas City at the International House of Prayer with one of my former students from New Zealand who very quickly became one of my best friends. We worshiped in 2013 with 25,000 other people, dancing and singing to the Lord. What an amazing end to one year and fabulous start to another!

First and foremost I want to say from the very bottom of my heart, THANK YOU! Thank you so much for the ways which you have effected the last year of my life and the support you have sent while I've been in the missions field. From the financial support, to the prayers of hundreds of people around the world, the care packages, the post cards, the letters, emails, facebook posts and Skype calls. I have been blessed beyond belief in 2012 by the outpouring of support from all of you. If I had to answer the “What did you learn?” question quickly and within the confines of a one page letter, it would be that my God is faithful. I thought I knew what that word meant, but I did not. Not until this year. In more ways that I can count God proved himself as a faithful in my life; from physical miracles, to revelations of what the Father's love can do in my life, to the amazing relationships I gained, the ways I learned and grew as a person, a leader, a daughter, because of His goodness. My life has been forever changed because of my work with Youth With A Mission in the last year and I could not have been a part of this amazing opportunity without your love and support, so once again THANK YOU!!

Secondly this letter is to answer the most common question that I have been asked since being home, “What's next?” And after much prayer, counsel and conversation I finally have an answer to that question. I'm going back! While going back was always the plan, to staff next years Snowboard Discipleship Training school, God has a way of taking our plans and sometimes switching them upside down on their heads to fit into His bigger and better plan. I've been called back to Youth With A Mission, New Zealand as early as the end of this month. I'm going to be helping with our first quarter school that starts this month, training with our full time staff on base as well as helping with the administrative side of raising up next years Snowboard Discipleship Training school that I will once again be staffing come May. The past year has been such a learning expereince for me. In so many ways I believe that helping to train up young missionaries in New Zealand is exactly what God has called me to at this point in my life. I love being able to walk this journey out with the amazing people God has brought and continues to bring across my path. There are so many different facets of God's heart that you can see when you are helping to disciple and train young adults who have a heart to see the world changed for Jesus. I am incredibly passionate and excited for this call on my life. At this point I believe that God will have me in New Zealand through the end of 2013. And while last year at this time I was nervous and timid to send these letters out, this year I am excited. I'm standing in the aftermath of an incredible year of God's faithful provision and trusting He's preparing to do the same again. Heading back to New Zealand so soon after returning home has obvious financial obstacles. I've been blessed to be able to go back to my job supervising our ski school at Elm Creek, God also made a way for me to work along side my Mom at her work at Park Brook Elementary school. What a sweet way for us to be able to spend time together before I head out again! Even with my jobs, in order to go back to New Zealand when planned, I will need to help and support of those around me. Right now the greatest need is about $2000 to purchase my plane ticket into the country and the visa to keep me there. Would you consider a one time gift to help get me back to the place I believe God is calling me to invest my life? Once I am in New Zealand my staff fees for room, board and living expenses are $100/week. As this time I'll be in New Zealand much longer than I was last year I am praying that God would lay on peoples hearts to join with me and support me on a monthly basis. Even a small gift, given consistently goes so far! Would you pray about joining with me in what I believe will be one of the greatest moves of God in my life?

If you choose to support financial there are a couple options right now:

• To give online with a credit card or debit card I have a link through my Paypal account on my facebook page as well as my website: http://tonarnia.blogspot.com .
• You can send a check to me at our base in New Zealand. 14 Church St. Oxford, North Canterbury New Zealand 7443

Lastly and most importantly would you please join with me in prayer for this next year? I know for me there have been times in my life when I have felt like my prayers were just too small. But I know now and have seen personally how the prayers of a honest heart enter the throne room of God. Please join with me through prayer as I travel to and help to serve and care for the Kingdom of God in New Zealand and with students from all over the world who meet us there.

Thank you again for every form of support that I have and continue to receive. In more ways than one in the last year I realized how this life with Jesus is not something we could ever do alone. Thank you for partnering with me in this journey. Please feel free to contact me in any way with any questions. I will continue to update my blog with details and information surrounding my departure, ministry and this crazy adventure God has us all on called life.

Thank you!

In His grace,

MANDI!

“Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind and with all your strength.” Mark 12:30