So I suppose the jury is still out as to whether we're "supposed" to talk about it publicly or not but for the sake of being honest let's just go there. Let's talk about fasting...
I've always known what fasting is. The church we grew up in was big on fasting so I've always been aware of what it was, it's place in a Christian's life and just assumed it would always be a part of mine. As I grew up it (along with many other Spiritual disciplines) got lost in youth events and compromise. Cause let's be honest, fasting a lot of "things" is a cop out, for all that's worth I can say I've been fasting sex the last 28 years. I think fasting is mostly supposed to be food. I'm yet to find a place in Scripture where God asks someone to "fast" from facebook. Most of my adult life has been spent in some fashion within IHOP and YWAM, both of whom are big on fasting. I've gone a day here with a friend, a day there with the team on outreach, I rang in one year with an extended fast but I've always ended up either cheating, giving up or getting caught up in the legalism of it all, barely surviving the day and most of the time out of stubbornness. As I've been preparing for this next year, I was praying about setting goals for each month. One of those goals that I feel God is calling me to is to do an extended fast at the end of this year for me, ending it on my birthday. That'll be a big one for me. It's not something I've done before and before today I don't know that my heart would have been tender enough for me.
Well today one of my best friends had surgery. (Super minor compared to surgery last year...but surgery none the less for the over-protective-big-sister heart of mine). So I decided today I would give fasting another shot, spend the day in prayer and fasting for her. For precision for the doctors hands, a quick recovery, no pain, etc. I knew I could go without food for her. I was under no false assumptions that because I was going without food that would someone be magic power or karma or anything weird. I just knew being without food for a day would be a little miserable for me, my stomach and saliva would remind me on multiple times that something was different today. There was something to be done today, a battle to be fought. And honestly? It was SO much easier. It was so easy for me to contend for the Spirit's intervention when it came to someone that my heart was invested in, when it was someone I dearly loved feeling those hunger pangs was easy to exchange for praying for her.
And then Mom made my favorite dinner while I was sleeping, I woke up tired, hungry and cranky. Why am I still doing this? And then I remembered, and I got up and I prayed for her some more. And I tried thinking about fasting in that way. I love Jesus more than I love my friend. Way more. But it's different when we've interacted with flesh and blood isn't it? It's so easy for me to contend for a pain free day for her but when it's time to fast and pray just because it's a command? It's harder. And so I guess that's how I'll start this year, I'll fast and pray for the things I love. It's a learning and a growing process. I'm training my heart to be in a posture of obedience starting with...fasting.
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