No going back now.

This morning I registered for the race...

This afternoon I don't know how smart of an idea that is. My morning workout went as well as I expected it to. Another 3 miles straight which was another small success. (This morning thou I did sweat and as much as I tried could not barter the adult part of myself out of a shower).

My workday was evidence enough that my afternoon at the gym was going to be interesting. Twice I had to break a preschooler. (I will take him on a "motor break" when he starts getting overly antsy in class and is nearing the verge of losing control of his body). Typically I drag him along through the halls (our school is built in a circle making this perfect) always a few steps ahead so that he has to keep a pretty good pace to keep up with me, thus tiring him out and sending him back to class a little calmer. Well today by our second lap around the school he was dragging me. My legs are tight and my knees are begging me to quit.

I had a ministry meeting in-between work and workout so my body got a lot of time to sit and do nothing while I was stuck in traffic on the highway. This is the first time I've headed to the gym hungry. I've kept my diet incredibly restricted and regulated this week. Counting out portions and employing more measuring cups and plastic baggies then I care to admit to. I should have known I was in trouble when I was still daydreaming about food as I walked into the gym. By the time I was changed and ready to hit the treadmill again my muscles had morphed into red hot fire pokers ripping through my legs. My shoulders and back ache. And so out of hunger, physical pain and mental exhaustion I let myself quit at a half mile. I got on a bike and pulled out 4 miles in 20 minutes and headed to the grocery store.

Part of my brain is telling me it was a smart choice. I limped out of the gym and wouldn't bend my left knee because of the pain in my thighs. (Which is actually quite a sight. As I've gotten older we've begun to realize that I'm pretty bow legged. I actually wear through shoes really awkwardly because I walk with my feet pointed outward (a drastic difference from my sister whose completely pigeon toed) and walk on the outside of my heels. When I realize it I will occasionally make a conscious choice to walk with my feet uncomfortably straight because I think it looks dainty and lady like. Snowboard boots and flip flops look ok turned outward but ballerina flats and heels look out of place when they stick out sideways.  Anyways at twenty five my knees have turned outward and point to the sides. It's not crippling and most of the time it's only the people spend lots of time with me or ironically children who seem to notice. So it's quite funny to watch me when I'm in that much pain that I will keep my knee clenched straight instead of bending it to walk normally. I will step down straight as if my foot is connected to my hip but my knee will swing so far out that it extends even farther out then my hip and shoulder. I must look like such a goon). I came home, showered and prepared my small group lesson for tomorrow nights ministry with the 8th grade girls.

I'm telling myself that my 4 mile bike is counting for a rest day and I will try again tomorrow. I'll be wearing a new Twins shirt that got left behind by someone who decided to sneak into my car while I was at work and leave it there. It's got the fancy American League Central Division Champions logo on it and was left with a note that said, "Sorry about your loss." So I will wear it tomorrow for game one to spit whoever it is that left it there as one last dig at my White Sox this year.

I'm registered. I have sixty four George Washington resembling reasons not quit and with my measly paycheck this month that is reason enough. Part of me is scared, today was day three and I allowed myself to quit. What's going to stop me from quitting during the race? How am I ever going to hit 10?The pain was too much to push through today and I wused out.

When we send kids home because they can't stay in school my co-worker always sends them out with, "Ok buddy, we'll try again tomorrow."

"Ok Mandi, we'll try again tomorrow."