6 days and counting...

Today is Monday, Saturday I race.

I signed up for a facebook app that will update my fcebook as I cross each mile marker so my family, friends and fans can follow my progress through the miles. Read: I added a pointless piece of crap to my facebook page so for a few minutes of my day I can believe that someone out there cares whether or not I finish this thing.

I just told my Mom I am taking her to Disney World for Christmas. Well not for Christmas, for the Disney Princess Half Marathon  in Feburary. There is no going back now, I'm going to run a marathon in my 26th year!!

I say publically that I don't care whether or not anyone is at the finish, at this point in my training and my week I just want the thing to be over. I just want to be done training, done fantasizing, done with this thing. I'm scared, I'm wondering now if I really have what it takes to finish this thing. I have not lost any weight, in fact I think I might be doing the oppisite, is it possible that while I've been working out like a crazy person I've actually been gaining weight and that my face looks puffy?

I'ts convienrent for my training that I'm hurting tonight. That silly kind of hurt that you would never admit to publically because it would just reveal how pathetic you are. That kind of hurt. That makes you cry when you are alone in your car but swear your ok when someone texts you? The kind of hurt that makes you listen to smutty rap music and run hard and fast, happy that the weights are your ankles are cutting holes into your feet? Yea, I'm there tonight. Aware that I'm fully PMS-ing but still aware that your heart stings for good reason? I run harder on those nights. I care less about how much it hurts. I wonder if I can hold onto that until Saturday? If that can be enough to push me 10 miles...

I bought new running shoes. They are my dream shoes in the wrong color. I love them.