Day 5.

A little cheat: The section from my missionary support letter that details how the Daniel Fast is going so far. (Day 5). 


A few weeks ago a couple of us staff ended up in our apartment and decided to read through the book of Daniel. I read how when Daniel was petitioning the Lord, he went into fasting. He was specific in not letting wine, meat, or any pleasant food touch his lips as he on two separate (Daniel 1 & 10)  occasions And God heard him! While we were reading Daniel I really felt God impressing on my heart that I should do a 5 day Daniel fast. Fasting food but allowing fruits, veggies, and nuts as needed to sustain. I shut down that impression on my heart and told myself that was just me, probably it was even my flesh, "just trying to be super spiritual." But I continued to have an uneasiness in my spirit in the next couple days, something just wasn't right. I went back and forth with God about the fast. I didn't want to do it, I didn't want to do it alone. God was telling me one thing and I was letting what my flesh wanted to do, what I wanted to do win out. And surely in this life as iron sharpens iron one of my best friends Sophie decided to fast something huge in her life for the month of August. Just laying down everything at the Lord's and running after Him with reckless abandon. And wouldn't you know my stubbornness and inner man which were already in disobedience by refusing to fast got offended?!  The evil desires in all of us to have our own way and hold onto our own comfort had been given so much room in my life that I was actually offended that someone I love deeply was chasing so boldly after the heart of God? The light that radiated from a heart completely surrendered to God shone light on my heart that was so stubbornly holding onto it's own desires. That was not a light I wanted shone on me! The next day or so I was on the IHOP website and saw that Mike Bickle had posted a new video of a sermon He gave at IHOP calling their staff and anyone in their spiritual family (This includes me!) to join in, you guessed it a Daniel Fast. But not five days like I'd originally heard, this time it was 21. I knew I needed to join this fast. I needed those selfish parts of my heart that so viciously hold onto their own ways to be silenced, I needed to contend, I want a new dose of His truth, His heart in mine. So I decided to go for it. Part of the fast also is pulling away for the 21 days, shutting down media that is not strictly ministry or Biblically related. I hadn't done that yet, I told myself I would ease into the fast since the first 4 days were rough. As my body detoxed I got horrible headaches and my emotions were all over the place. (I literally started crying because my Spotify wasn't working properly!) But even than yesterday as I was watching a video podcast I felt God telling me if was time to shut off my facebook for the rest of the fast and movies were out too. Five days into this fast (which ironically was the number of days I was originally supposed to do) I can feel my heart being tenderized to His heart, I'm losing interest for entertainment, yearning to get my jobs done so I can escape back into the word, or listen to another sermon. I've also seen old gifts and passions stirred up in my in this time, I'm spending more and more time being creative; drawing, writing, making things. I am seeing my heart make more and more room for His words as I move more and more earthly pleasures out of it. I'm more excited now for what this journey holds that I was when I began.