Life/Ministry/Stories: We begin.

The sun sets in Oxford behind me from the nook in the dining room I find myself again. This time in shorts and a hoodie; sunburnt neck and shoulders, sand fly bit ridden feets. In so many ways, I've left home and family. But in so many other ways, I have come back home.

I am here. Back in Oxford where a huge part of my heart will always belong. My last few days in the States were wonderful. And while I don't want to toot my own horn, I am proud of my ability to have stayed present and in the moment while preparing to conquer such a mountain in my life again. My last few days in Minnesota were amazing, spent with my Mom, sisters and nieces. We took Faith to American Girl and my Mom bought her her first American Girl doll which I hear has been named Lucy. We also managed to get Jess hooked on our families new favorite obsession : LUSH. I am happy I went home for two months inbetween my seasons here at Oxford. I am blessed beyond belief by an amazing, beautiful, supportive family. I am so proud of them, of us, of who we are today. While it made leaving harder because times were so sweet, it also made leaving easy knowing that they are standing back, loving me, supporting me, cheering me on, praying me forward.

From Minnesota I flew to Denver to spend a few last days in the US with Sophie, And in a cheesy yet important and symbolic way wanted her to be the one who sent me off on this new chapter. Colorado is absolutely breathtaking, for multiple reasons I am so glad I went but a huge one being seeing that much awesome creation prepared my heart to head back to the most beautiful place I've ever been. Speaking of beautiful, I also was beyond blessed to meet back up with Kathryn, Alyssa and Jenny from last years school and hear of their amazing adventures living in obedience and faith in God's plan. I am so PROUD of those girls! So proud. It's been really fun to be back in Oxford and be able to share some of their stories with those who knew them here, everyone is so encouraged when a member of our little family heads out to bring the Kingdom in other places of the world. Leaving is always hard, and leaving Colorado was no exception. I got on my plane out with courage and boldness though, holding each other in the airport Soph prayed life, joy, blessing, and adventure over my next season. A few minutes later my "little brother" Steve called to pray blessing, peace, freedom and encouragement over my time until he will see me again and finally as I was getting on the plane my Mom called to pray protection, blessing, her pride and joy over me as I headed out. A powerful place to be, I'm not surprised that shortly after the plane took off, I slept for a solid seven hours.

I landed in New Zealand many hours later and without even being able to control it a sneaky grin plastered itself over my face and wouldn't leave. I can tell you, at this point it was completely out of my control to be able to contain that smile. I'm still very much in transition here. Just as I've traded my long, soft curly hair for awkward, hippie dreads that are taking a long time to "take" and probably longer to get used to. I've traded in a life I know and am comfortable with for one with very little known plan, waiting and anticipating God's voice or direction every morning, at this point and than it's going to take some getting used to. At this point, I've got no idea what the next days holds, I miss my family, my girls, my friends but I can't stop from smiling. I know this smell, I know this place, I know this sky, I know these mountains, I know this place. I remember walking from the international terminal to the domestic in Auckland and catching my reflection in the glass. I was wearing a new sweater I found on clearance at Target, it has quarter sleeves so the new tattoo I had inked in honor of my two nieces is still healing in the sun, a new backpack I've wanted for months that a supporter bought for me, before that day I hadn't used the ear buds that came with my phone, I'd never listened to the new Justin Beiber acoustic album I was listening to, and every time I see my new hair it still throws me for a loop. Everything about my reflection was new, but the place familiar.

Who is this girl God? I asked. What's your plan for her here? Amazing sometimes, how far we have to go to be able to get so close...

And so I'm home. Many of my questions are still unanswered. My role and jobs here are always changing. It's a big time of transition around here, with people coming and going almost daily as we prepare for the new season. I'll be helping out in a lot of different areas. I'm helping to transition in our new head cook, a sweet 24 year old Kiwi girl named Gina, so what I'm sure will come as a huge shock to my Mom, I ended up back in the kitchen today. I've been hanging out with the AW80 staff, half of whom I already knew and half of who are new. I'll start reading "Strengths Based Leadership" and take the Strengths Finders test tonight to get ready for BLS on Thursday. I'll be helping Cindy with hospitality as she's still recouping and healing from a couple injury's earlier this year. Tomorrow I'll start getting my feet wet with the admin side of SDTS and Wednesday start nannying some friend's little boys so they can train with the rest of their staff. I'm still finding time to find a quiet nook to read, journal, run, walk, listen. I've been doing a lot of listening. Mark Parker is here leading training with staff and he's such a man of wisdom, hearing him go back and forth with staff is hilarious, insightful and challenging. I'm loving being here while the Crossroads staff are in training. They are SO full of wisdom and gentleness. My favorite times of the day are meals, when we sit outside in the sun and talk and talk and talk. Conversation here is the best!

My favorite quote of the night was Joe's advice when you realize you like someone.
"You pray about it. And then you pray some more. And then you pray some more. And then you pray some more. And then you pray some more. You let that sucker cook!"

Yes, I'm learning lots! Today during worship we were singing, "You work all things together for my good." And it hit me like a ton of bricks, God really does work EVERYTHING together for my good! Scripture promises it. (Romans 8:28). There is so much freedom in that truth. When things don't go as we thought they should, as we planned, as we hoped. If we trust God it must mean that He has something better planned right? I mean if He's working ALL together for my good, than His plan for the situation must be better than what I had planned for it right? What grace for dealing with disappointment. "Yea, I wanted A, B, and C to happen but it didn't." So I trust that my God is bigger than me, so obviously there is something better than A, B, or C in His plan.

And instantly my cynic mind thinks, "Yea but what about dealing with people and they're sinful, they have their own motives and intentions. Yea, maybe God has my best in mind but what about the rest of the world?" And that's a hard verdict in a place like this. So much of EVERY SINGLE PART OF MY DAY is dealing with other people, namely other Christians. And I'm the senser. I'm the one who picks up on moods, hints, secret communication, I don't know where I get it or why, but I pick up on EVERYTHING. So much of this takes insane amounts of trust and vulnerability and God brought to mind 1 Cor. 13. Yes, that super over used almost cliche chunk of verses about love. But love isn't suspicious is it? Love doesn't assume that other people are selfishly motivated, or out for themselves. True love ASSUMES that everyone is acting in love! True love BELIEVES that everyone is putting everyone else first. True love HOPES.

That's my little nugget today. They've been almost daily, I'm going to need my Duck to bring me another journal cause I'm definitely finding myself in a journaling season.

I'm learning a lot. I'm being stretched a lot. It's a new journey but I'm three days in. We begin...