Seeing as how this is my New Zealand journal I might want to post a entry or two about this journey leading up to it.

I've gotten 3 support checks so far. They were all very surprising and very, very appreciated. I am waiting for my bank to reflect the check I sent into them and then I'll send in my first check to YWAM Oxford. Which makes it official. They will reserve a spot for me and I will have officially accepted the invitation...and that my friends is maybe one of the scariest things I've ever done.

I know without a shadow of a doubt this is what God has planned for my life for the remainder of this year but none the less I am shaking at almost every moment of this journey. Insecurity and fear threaten to eat me alive. If there is anything that will stop this trip, that's it. Everyone else worries about the money, the flight, the physical things, I trust my God is bigger then those. But this fear...I know He is bigger then I and that is plans are truer and better but sometimes I wonder what He's thinking. This no one girl from no where...

Last night I went snowboarding with Jenny. A blast of course but Hyland is right near the airport and I couldn't help but imagine myself on those plans every time one would fly over head. That will be a struggle also...being on a plane for that long by myself because that's the first real step I have to take alone. Walking away from my family at the airport and going forth on my own. I can only imagine the first few hours of that flight will be spent in tears.

And so I journey on...