Time goes by...so quickly.

My birthday was yesterday, that was one of the last big milestones seperating me from July...next would be our family retreat to Iowa, Izze's 2nd birthday and Mom and Jon's wedding (the plans for which keep our days busy and the time flying).

Yesterday was also the last day of snowboarding lessons and friday night I went with a bunch of friends to have my last "fun run" of the season. Friday night was really fun, almost overwhelming so. To be with such a great group of people doing what I love...it was a holy moment. Which I suppose sounds almost wrong but the Bible says whatever is true, whatever is pure, whatever is good these things are God's and ours since we are in Him. So whatever is good and pure is ours to claim and friday night definatly was. Fellowship with other believers who have each played a unique role in the journey the last few years just enjoying Gods perfect creation was...a holy experience.

Sunday was a little harder. I always keep gloomy at the end of the snowboarding season but this year is different, I only have three months to go without riding but I just kept thinking the next time I strap in, I'll be in NZ and by the time you read this, I probaley already am. Don't get me wrong, I'm excited and thrilled for the chance to live out God's plan for my life and I know He's just going to blow me away on this trip but I'm so so nervous and scared and overwhelmed (I have a feeling this may be the underlying themes to many of my blogs until I've been there and found my groove). I think I'm more worried to leave my family (which includes more then just the four of them who have the same DNA as me) than I am to go somewhere foriegn. I'm more nervous about getting through all those layovers and different airports than I am to actually get there. I just don't do well with change, I never have and so much is going to change for me while I'm there and so much for my family while I'm gone. God is going to do so much...

Seeing as how this is my New Zealand journal I might want to post a entry or two about this journey leading up to it.

I've gotten 3 support checks so far. They were all very surprising and very, very appreciated. I am waiting for my bank to reflect the check I sent into them and then I'll send in my first check to YWAM Oxford. Which makes it official. They will reserve a spot for me and I will have officially accepted the invitation...and that my friends is maybe one of the scariest things I've ever done.

I know without a shadow of a doubt this is what God has planned for my life for the remainder of this year but none the less I am shaking at almost every moment of this journey. Insecurity and fear threaten to eat me alive. If there is anything that will stop this trip, that's it. Everyone else worries about the money, the flight, the physical things, I trust my God is bigger then those. But this fear...I know He is bigger then I and that is plans are truer and better but sometimes I wonder what He's thinking. This no one girl from no where...

Last night I went snowboarding with Jenny. A blast of course but Hyland is right near the airport and I couldn't help but imagine myself on those plans every time one would fly over head. That will be a struggle also...being on a plane for that long by myself because that's the first real step I have to take alone. Walking away from my family at the airport and going forth on my own. I can only imagine the first few hours of that flight will be spent in tears.

And so I journey on...